-I L.o.V.e grEEn-

Is this the end of everything or just the starting of the beginning ?

I couldn't answer it . Yet , I felt this horrible pain within during these past 3 days .

I am lost now . Mind went blank . Heart shattered . And all that I know is to cry . He stayed so strong for me . Consistently consoling me when I cried . Gave me warm hug and wiped away my tears .

I was the one to be blamed .
I am the one to be blamed .
I will blame myself ....

Now , all that I can do is to promise and do the things he told me too .

Please don't cry anymore .... It hurts to know , it hurts to see , it hurts to listen to the one you love ... tears .

Sometimes though love is fading , but I know ... it will always remain there even if it's left a little . It will ...

Pondered |7:13 PM|

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Yeahh ... I'm back from Penang ! ~ Happy happy ... hehiehe !
As some of you all know , Alvin and I went to Penang last saturday night . Know what ? We took the 10.30pm bus from Sek 17 , Shah Alam's bus station . But by the time we reached , it's already 5am !! Haha ... can anyone believe that ? Almost 7 hours of ride to Penang ! Usually it only took around 3 - 4 hours ... hahahaha ... so guys remember , DON'T ever get the Haiders bus . Konsortium is still the best no matter what !!

Upon reaching , Ronnie came to picked us up . Funny that even he already woke up from his sleep yet we still haven't reach . Was really hungry that moment so we thought of going for a breakfast . Yeah ... super early breakfast huh ? It never exist in my life's dictionary ever before ... while searching for any restaurants that actually " open " at 5.30am , we drove around around for some sight viewing . Finally , we came on to this dim sum shop and took our breakfast there ..

It's been more than half a year since I last saw Ronnie . Really had alot to catch up . I was really excited and awake but that Alvin already transformed being a panda ! Haha ... so can't do much , chat till 6.30am and Ronnie drove me to my kai didi's place . At Tanjung Bungah near TAR College .

Er ... guess what ? I knew my kai didi almost 3 years back ... and that was the FIRST time I met him in real ! Hehehe ... He is the also the first batch of P friends that i knew back then .. as I'm the first P that he knew in his life ! Ehhhh , so proud laaarkkk ! ^^

Though I never met him before but still I recognised his face very much . Hmmm , what can I say ? First time meeting him ... my feelin very very the akward ! Went back to his house , he continue with his dekstop , Alvin sleeping and I just ... keep feeling akward . After a long time , I finally tried to talk to him and asked bout his feelings too . Hahahah ~ He feel exactly the same with me . Really don't know what to talk about and really really feel akward . Shy shy ? Hmm ...

Anyway , Alvin slept really tight that night while Yong Wei and I just talk talk and lie down on the bed . We din't really have enough sleep or should I say ... no sleep ? Haha ...
So the next day , Sunday , woke up around 12pm . Ronnie came picked us up in the afternoon and went for lunch . After lunch , went to Prangi Mall for a walk . I guess that's what people said ... that Prangi Mall is very alike our very own Sg.Wang where there's alot of " SeaFood " while Gurney Plaze is more to KLCC ... high class place ? LolX ...

Oh My Goodness ... the clothing in Penang is so damn cheap lark !! Went to Hot Element to get a short pants and a belt . Really like it ... The promoter there are really friendly ... sometimes i felt over friendly tim ... hahaha ~ Very P leh !! But the shop is really nice ... Ron said many KL people will go that place to shop ! Yaya .. cheap and nice leh !

After shopping , went to Gurney Drive to take our dinner . Then Ronnie have to leave early cause he have to fetch his mother . So , we just went back to my didi's place lor . Night time , Baylon came to fetch Alvin out . What to do ? Alvin's birthday on 25th , Monday , so Baylon want to date Alvin lorrr ... Hehehe ~
Left me and didi in room watching those chinese shows . Lolx ~ That time , our relationship getting better ... so much better ! Haha ... Also didi introduce a new programme to me . A programme that can watch all kinds of movie , animation , music video live by streaming . Really fast and overwhelming of movies waiting to be watched . = =" No wonder ah di no need to sleep one . Everyday just watch movie till early morning ~ !! haha ...

Well , Alvin did not came back to sleep . He overnight at Baylon's place till next day . Leaving me and my didi alone = ="
On monday , me and ah di woke up kinda late ... Haha ... cause am waiting for Alvin to packed us our lunch . Baylon is the only one having car for this temporary time . Ronnie gotta go for work so couldn't do much .

Baylon took us for dinner at Gurney Drive again . Haha ~ Just for the crowd ... really alotsa people there . After eating , went on hill to Bukit Bendera . Yeah , a place that cannot be missed . Haha ... took the train at 8pm and ... damn ... that train really really slow leh ! Reached Bukit Bendera at 8.20pm and the last train going down is 9.15pm . So we don't really have alot of time to walk around . But the wheather was really really cold that night . Filled with thick fogs ... so cooling ! Nice ~

Around 10.30pm we head to the beach behind the Crown Hotel . Yeah !!!! I'm really really really happy cause can go to the beach !! I really really love the atmosphere of the beach at night . So peaceful ... just listening to the wave sound makes me feel relaxing . Ahhh ~

Maybe some of you guys think that what is so special bout beaches ? But for me ... this is the first time i went for this year 2006 . I also went once last year around december with Marcus . This time , got my kai didi accompany me . Haha ... Alvin and Baylon walk on their own while ah di and I just sat there and chit chat . There are also a few dogs sitting around us ... feels like our bodyguard . So nice leh ...
Talk bout my problems with ah di till midnight . Really mm seh dak to leave the beach but the sky starts to drizzling ! Yerhhh .... Also ... didi is the second person in my that i hold hands while walking on the beach . Haha ...
That's about for Monday ...

We were supposed to be back to KL on Tuesday yet ... I really don't want to . I really like this place here . The people here . So I decided to stay another night ...
As for today , Alvin and Baylon again .. went to paktoh !! Arghhh ... Left me and didi ... but today , one of my friend came back to Penang so this time around he came to drove us around . But seriously , really felt abit guilty towards Zach cause he keep droving us here and there = ="
Did nothing much just watching movie in didi's house whole night but I was happy . Haha .. felt so comfortable ....

Night time , really couldn't sleep well . No idea why but maybe because I felt kinda hard because need to be going back KL today . I peep at didi and he is just the same . Eyes opened . While Alvin just sleep like a pig >.<" geng !! Woke up 8am and packed up everything . Zach came to fetch us for breakfast before departing back to KL . After breakfast , went to get some food . Tambun biscuit ! Haha ... then ... it's time to go back ~! Hehehe ...

What can I say from this trip ? I really enjoyed and felt happy there . Don't have anything to worry and think . Just feel like so free all of a sudden . Free from the pressure and stress ... but once back to home ... " It's all coming back to me ... " by Celion Dion . Haha ... oh well ..

I miss penang , the beach and my didi ~ !!!!

There is also something very important happened last friday . Haha ~ One of my longest YM friend ... Bibiana ... I'm sure alot of you guys know this girl ya ? The one that wrote 8 testimonial to me in friendster ... the girl from Sabah ~ Hahah .. I knew her for 2 years more already but never have the chance to meet her . But finally , Fui Pin and I met up with her last friday !!! Yeah !!!! Damn happy larrkkkkkk ...
She even tears while leaving ... really a true friend ... am very happy to be able to see her !!

Pondered |7:28 PM|

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Watched Fruits Basket last Saturday while waiting time to pass for dance lesson at 6.30pm . This is only my second class so i'm really quite new to the dance . But what can i say is that it's fun and am enjoying it very much . *winks*

Went clubbing at LQ that night . Reached before 10pm cause it's free entrance . Yeah , inside was just us ... the mushroom gang and the bartenders . Haha ... who the hell is going to get there so early right ? That's us ! Slowly .. people are gettin crowded but funny thing is that ... first time before 3am , everyone dismissed themselves . So around 2am , it was already quite empty ... just left me , Alvin , Jimmy and Sam dancing there like nobody's business . Haha .. well , that's my reason for clubbing . Just wanted to dance all night .. and forget all the sadness for that time .

As for sunday , met up with Teck Jinn at Pyramid . He came back from MMU that day to help out his friends for an event . So i fetched Alvin , Ying Yin and Mun Choon there to meet up . Did nothing much .. just walk walk talk talk and yeaaasshh .. at last I bought myself a jeans from S&K . Though i wanted to get from Levi's very very much ... but it's just out of budget ! Arghh ... next i'm targettin the coat from TopMan !! I'm going to get you !!!! *giggles*

Pondered |12:39 AM|

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Oh well , there is something i forgotten to post up yesterday leh ! It's bout the accident happened around 2am , 14th Sept . I'm sure some of you heard bout it . Happened somewhere at the AmcorpMall ... Federal Highway there .. Gosh ! It was crowded with alot alot alotsss of 38 38 people . Everyone stopped their car even from the opposite side to have a look . There are policemen and firemen too .

The excited part is not that .. but rather when i was slowing down to have a peep , all of a sudden , i heard a loud noise . Someone break very forcefully and the tyre went "eiiittttttt" ! I quickly look to my right , the Kelisa went knockin on the steel divider ! Upon knocking the back of the car went lift up high , drop after few seconds lifted on the air and went ... BAAM ! Loud and clear .. just right beside !!! Sheeeesshhh ...

Anyway , now i'm over with that trauma and went to find a master for tilik nasib lehh .. my friends all got 'seen' by him and everyone says that its amazing ! Haha .. so i went for it ... and there goes .. after everything , went to Sri Hartamas square for a supper .

Pondered |2:03 AM|

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HaHa ... at last kena shoot liao ! Since nobody read , then i thought of writing it only when i feel like i wanna post lor ... and today is the day ! Just feel very much of bloggin today ... today which is much prefer to refer on wednesday not thursday ya .

Woke up quite late today around 1pm . Lifeless and moodless to do the things i used to do when i woke up . Instead of takin a shower and packin meals , i just went to my laptop and start playing with it . Downloading songs , uploading pics , checking mails , burning movies etc . Around 5pm , i stopped everything and went prepared for the japanese lesson later at 7 .

Was reaching at Terence's house early so decided to look for Isaac and Jeremy to 38 38 ... haha ... were about to take dinner but did not because we're late for class . So we just bought some breads and tarts ..

Only one girl attended the class today plus the 3 of us .. the other 2 girls absent .. i think i know where they might be ... haha .. will be explained later ~ Today's class was fun buuuuutttt .... got so embarrassed because 3 of us haven't memorise the kanji words ! Katagana ... dislike it alot !!
Couldn't make the correct answer when teacher asked us !! >.< "

After lesson , we rushed to 1Utama's Jusco ! Yeah ... it was already late but the cars are damn damn freakin packed ! Everyone just parked outside the road lehhh !! So .. i don't care and just park at the new wing instead of rounding rounding searching for parking !

Wanna know why Jusco is filled with people and the two pretty girls absent for class ? Yeah ... it's the only one day of megasales !! 70% and 50% !!! Holeeeeeeeeeenesssss .... Everyone was fighting for the stuffs . Especially the clothing deparment !

I manage to get myself 3pack of undies and 1 shirt ! Hehe .. only at Rm82 .. normal price ? Rm140 !! Haha ... but most of the good stuffs already taken ... oh , we saw these jeans jacket and original Rm129 but no .. only Rm38 !!! Omg .. freaking cheap and .. it's really really nice .. but left only 2 piece ... Terence and Isaac took each one .. = =" blehhh ...

I guess shopping does help someone to reduce stress and painful thoughts ... but it also hurts the wallet ... alot .. i mean .. really ALOT ! Haha ... but still satisfied !

Before going to the main point of this blog , i have other things in mind and heart that i wish to blog about . Things that are important to me i guess ..

First is bout my half year anniversary present from my dar-ling ... hahaha ... he gave me the TMGC ... tamagochi to me last last week when he came to my house . Yaya ... i know everyone will be thinking , TAMAGOCHI ? Why in the world ! Haha ... but seriously this tmgc is getting really popular again especially in Jap and Europe country . They are the new generations of the old one which can be played online ! Nice .. but its expensive . Anyway , will be bloggin bout the little baby soon ya ..
Most important .. thanks dear for that . Muaahh ...

Secondly , its bout the 8th of September . Haha ... i'm sure everyone have no idea what day is it .. just the birthday of someone once close with me . But somehow , we couldn't manage to keep contact because of some misunderstanding .. i thought bout it and i guess it's maybe the best for the two of us . Everything does happened for a reason right ? Yeah , i know that he deleted and blocked me in Msn , deleted me in friendster and havin no more ways to enter his blog/xanga world . Still that day , i try my luck just to give him one sms to a number that he onced gave it to me . Wishing him a great birthday and his best in Stpm too ... and i never expected anything much from there . But to my surprise , the SmS is sent and a replied is received . He reply me ... with a very short yet warm feeling . I was stunned at that very moment . I re-read it a few times ... it was Him . My tears start to fall .. no idea from does it came from . I was with my mix feeling again ... Maybe i was glad that he still remember who am i .. as long that i know he lives well , though far away from me , i'm already satisfied and relief .. =)

Thirdly , i guess it's bout Marcus , and i'm sure alot of you guys know him ya ? I doesn't want to spread any bad things nor critic him in anyway , cause i don't have the right . Just that , he makes me know so much more living in a P life . He made me grew alot deeply . All sorts of people lives in this tiny world . Everyone might get hurt if they don't know how to protect themselves ... but everyone does get hurt once in a while . It's just a part of growing up ! At least what he did now , really awaken me .
He thought me something previously , listening to S.H.E's 8th album - don't want to grow up . The 3rd song ... Don't want to be your friend [ Bu zhuo ni de peng you] ...
Direct translation of the chorus :
" Don't take my hand , saying that i know everything , we still can be friends eventhough we couldn't be lovers . Don't hold my hands , while thinking of other people's faces . Changing the way we hold hands won't make it better . If we cant be more than this ... can i not be your friend ? "
Haha ... i'm not so good in translating but that's how it means ... it's true ...

Fourth , recently i've been downloading alot alot of movies and anime . Will be updating bout these later on ... too much to post ... = ="

And for the main thing ... i just wanted to say that recently a serious problem arises within my family . That is the main reason why recently i'm very very down and moodless .. what i can say is i have to interfere with this problem if i want to have a better future . Something that i have to think and act fast . Sigh .. this is the stressing part i guess .. i just pray that God can help us all ... pray that Mum will always be with us ... all the time .. =)

I'm sure not everyone will read everything up there but ... hahah .. don't care .. just a place for me to express myself .. If anyone did read it all , mind posting your name at the cbox ? Haha ... just testing only ...

Pondered |3:57 AM|

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--<== Old Topic Will Be Closed ==>--

Starting on from now will be with this new layout .
Maybe all I needed was something simple .
Will start to post again in the future .....

Pondered |12:00 AM|

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